Helen Badar: She literally  had nowhere to turn

Imagine being the mother of two young children, working full-time as an intensive-care nurse in one of the country’s most hectic and demanding hospitals – and coming home every night to a severely abusive husband. For ten years of marriage, this was the reality for Helen, 47, until one day her husband went on such a cruel and destructive rampage that a restraining order was finally issued against him by Family Court.

But in addition to keeping her husband away, Helen also wanted a divorce. She hired the best lawyers to fight for her, draining more than $50,000 – her father’s entire life savings – on legal fees. And yet, nothing was achieved. Finally, in 2004, she was referred to Yad L’isha- The Max Morrison Legal Aid Center and Hotline, under the auspices of OTS’s Monica Dennis Goldberg School for Women Advocates.

“We are an organization staffed by women to help women,” explains Batsheva Sherman, Yad L’isha’s dynamic director. “Our center focuses on the most difficult cases in the country and represents women in the most unbelievable distress. It is very important for our clients to be able to talk to a woman, someone who understands their problems and can be their friend as well as their legal advisor and advocate.”

Helen was initially reluctant to approach Yad L’isha. As a staunchly secular Israeli, she was worried that the observant advocates on staff would not accept her for who she was, or that she might be coerced religiously. But she literally had nowhere else to turn; she was penniless and desperate, and to make matters worse, she was forced by debilitating back injuries and complicated surgeries to give up her job. When her husband disappeared – dashing any hopes she may have had of obtaining a get – she finally made the call.

Yad L’isha’s Vardit Rosenblum, a graduate of the Monica Dennis Goldberg School, took on Helen’s case. “We tracked Helen’s husband down in Thailand, and brought him to the rabbinical court,” she recalls, “but he had a condition for granting the get: he wanted to meet with their daughter, with whom he hadn’t been in touch in seven years and who refused under any circumstances to see him.

“One of the constant difficulties we face is the husband putting absurd conditions on the granting of the get,” reveals Vardit. “In Helen’s case, the Beit Din accepted our argument that his request was irrelevant and finally, after eight months, Helen received the divorce that had eluded her for years. And although her particular story ends in victory, the long, arduous path also highlights the problematic nature of the whole system.”

As a result, in addition to their day-to-day work on behalf of their clients, the advocates are now leading a crusade for systemic change in the general workings of the rabbinical courts.

“The Beit Din often takes the husband’s side, because they feel the civil courts are on the woman’s side,” declares Batsheva Sherman. “So a man who doesn’t want to give his wife a get really has an unfair advantage. We are trying to change the way the whole system is run from within, pushing for the acceptance of creative new Jewish legal arguments, setting precedents in rabbinical and civil court that benefit the woman, protesting unfair appointments and decisions, lobbying in the Knesset for corrective legislation and promoting proposed new laws that won’t allow for this type of conditioning or blackmail.

“Obviously, our immediate goal continues to be the freeing of as many agunot as possible from their marital chains,” continues Batsheva. “But the long-term objective is to correct the problem at its root and achieve equality and justice for women.”

The advocates are compassionate and motivated by a sense of justice to fight this uphill battle. But ultimately, they get their courage from their clients. “Sometimes I think I benefit more from helping these women than they get from me,” confides Vardit. “They get up every single day and rise to the challenge of just surviving. Their taking the extra step of fighting for freedom saps all of their strength and inspires me to do all I possibly can to prevent their nightmares from recurring to others.”

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