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Shabbat Shalom: Parshat Vayetze Genesis 28:10-32:3
By Shlomo Riskin
Efrat, Israel - If one ever doubted the Bible’s positive attitude towards
love and the awesome power of love to transform individuals and direct the
course of history, our weekly portion of Vayetze tells a beautiful love
story – and at the same time defines and delineates how love yearns to be
expressed and the extent to which love weaves its magic tapestry.
Our love story seems to be an idyllic, pastoral tale which almost comes as a
welcome relief from the heavy, murderous tension between Jacob and Esau and
as an introduction to the scheming competitive tension between Jacob and
Laban. But it is much more than that; it is a firm declaration, that the
Bible understands and affirms the positive potency of love; it is a song of
love not to Torah or to the Land of Israel, but rather to love itself.
Just consider the fact that the then young father Jacob is forced to leave
his parents’ ancestral home and wander into an alien and lonely exile
because of the lack of love – or at least the lack of loving communication
– between Isaac and Rebecca. Whether Rebecca’s daring deception – an
act which resulted in the destructive sibling hatred between her two sons
– was the result of the fact that here was an arranged marriage which
could not offer the benefit of a loving and beloved friendship (re’im
ahuvim) of two young people whose lives and love grow up together or whether
it was built into the very unequal situation of a match between an older,
spiritual son of a path – breaking religionist who had just survived a
near-sacrifice to his father’s G-d and a child-bride from a deceptive,
rapacious family to whom G-d was an alien concept, (see the commentary of
the Netziv) is very much beside the point. In either case, an honest sharing
of ideas and mutual decisions arrived at together was virtually precluded.
Moreover, the subsequent story of tensions between Laban and Jacob were
caused in no small measure by the lack of trust Jacob had to feel towards
his uncle, who deceived him into an arranged and loveless marriage with
Rachel’s elder sister, Leah. Therefore, the romantic love scene between
Jacob and Rachel is not merely a welcome respite between the prior and
succeeding stories of scheming deceptions and sibling rivalries, both
between Jacob and Esau as well as Rachel and Leah; it is the honest and
romantic love which Jacob and Rachel have for each other which enables Jacob
to overcome all other tensions and obstacles in his life and ultimately
emerge Yisrael – victorious!
Chapter 29 of our Biblical portion tells the tale. Jacob sets out to his
exile with light skipping steps (29:1) and immediately comes upon a well in
a field. Remember that the match-maker Eliezer met Rebecca – whom he
identified as being suitable for Isaac – near a well, and later on Moses
met his wife Zipporah near a well; a well is also used as a Biblical and
Rabbinical metaphor for woman and womb (Proverbs 5, and see HaKhmat Adam,
Laws of Niddah 116, 18 for the prayer of the groom after the marriage is
consummated, which mentions the fact that ‘no stranger will rule over this
sealed well”). Jacob takes in the scene: a large boulder protects the
water in the deep recesses of the well, a boulder so heavy that all the
shepherds and their flocks must gather together in order to share the burden
of lifting the boulder. Young Jacob engages in small – talk with the three
shepherds who had already assembled, asks if they know Laban the son of
Nahor, and as they are answering, they mention that – behold – his
daughter the shepherdess Rachel is now coming with her flock of sheep. “And
it was, when Jacob saw Rachel, daughter of Laban his mother’s brother…
that Jacob came forward and rolled the stone off the mouth of the well; he
watered the sheep of Laban, his mother’s brother” (Gen 29:10).
Picture the moment: Jacob sees Rachel approaching, apparently feels “love
at first sight,” probably looks back quickly to ascertain that she is
watching, takes off his jacket, rolls up his sleeves, perhaps takes a second
glance in her direction – and then single – handedly performs the feat
of removing the boulder. He then triumphantly – but with an embarrassed
smile – waters Rachel’s flock, letting her know that he did it for her!
“Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and he raised his voice and wept” (Gen
29:11). Why did he weep? I once had a student who suggested that he wept
because he kissed her before they were married – although the Sforno
comments that he tells her in the very next verse that he is her cousin so
that she not think him to have acted improperly with the kiss. Rashi (ad
loc) gives other explanations for his tears: he had arrived empty-handed;
his nephew Eliphaz, Esau’s son, had run after him to kill him, and he
ransomed his life by giving his would –be –assassin all of his
possessions. From this we learn that to be in love means to want to give
tangible gifts to your beloved as an expression of your love. Indeed, the
Hebrew word ahavah is built on a two letter root (according to some
grammarians) hav, which means the flame of passion as well as the act of
giving. One who doesn’t feel the desire to give tangible gifts and to
provide for his beloved, is not really in love!
Furthermore, says Rashi, “Jacob saw through the gift of prophecy that he
would not enter into the grave with her.” Most commentaries take this to
mean that they would be buried in separate places, he in the Cave of the
Couples in Hebron, and she in Rachel’s tomb in Bethlehem on the road to
Efrat. I would take it to mean more simply that the price we pay for loving
is eventually having to be separated from our beloved; it is rare that a
couple leaves this world at the same time, and the greater the love, the
more poignant the pain of the surviving spouse.
In the final analysis, however, Jacob’s love for Rachel gave him the power
and the patience to both work and wait for his love; “the seven years (he
had to work for Laban to earn the right to marry Rachel) passed as only a
few days because of his love for her” (Gen 29:20). It gives him the
strength to out-Laban and build up more than a nest egg – and when his
beloved Rachel finally conceives and bears Joseph (the son who inherited
Jacob’s great love for his mother), Jacob knows that he can only nurture
that beloved son in Israel, in the environment of the new – found faith of
his parents and grand – parents (Gen 30:25). He lost his beloved wife at a
very young age, but his love added a steely strength to his initially
withdrawn, studious and spirited personality; it also gave him his two sons
Joseph and Benjamin, the first who brought the G-d of morality to Egypt and
became the savior of his people, and the second upon whose land in Israel
our Holy Temples have stood and yet will stand.
Shabbat Shalom
Shlomo Riskin
Chancellor Ohr Torah Stone
Chief Rabbi - Efrat Israel
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